"What's the world for you if you can't make it up the way you want."

-Jazz, Toni Morrison


After the asking and getting of the things

After the asking and getting of the things

I left California because everything about
everybody was on sale. Seattle, while pretending
not to care, is the same, except it is not BMWs
and breasts but Patagonia nano-puffs and 
Subarus. It comes down to satisfaction
and what makes that happen for me.
Do I care that people see me as
successful, hip, congruent
with the Master Culture? 
At 49, no. But I do own a Subaru.
But that is not what this poem is about. To a degree
I hinge my feelings of worth and gratification on items.
I work hard, I care for my patients, my family,
I deserve _____________. So, of course,
I obsess on that Joel Tudor fin, or those Rome
snowboard bindings, or the ideal hoodie. 
I research them, read reviews, check prices,
wait until the coupon code is activated.
It is consuming, the consuming of glorified
idols. I get the thing in the mail, get that
rush of dopamine. Then it needs to happen
again to have the same effect. But
what do I need to order? My family is
healthy, sane, loving. I’m not going
to give everything away and join
a non-materialistic cult, but I could
start one? No. For the first time
in my life I really don’t need
anything. And I am thankful.
And I sit and forget to want.
My body doesn’t know what
to do, like it is now unnecessary.
I want to molt it off
like an achy sock
and leave it at the
doorway.


Scott Ferry tries to heal our Veterans as a nurse. He has recent work in Bitter Oleander, Scryptic, and Cobalt.

Cover photo by Artem Bali on Unsplash

The Layer Cake, Afterglow, and The Ambush

The Layer Cake, Afterglow, and The Ambush

Fever Dreams and other poems

Fever Dreams and other poems

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